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" The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty."
Woody Allen

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" Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it."
George Carlin

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" When we got married I told my wife "If you leave me, I'm going with you. And she never did."
James Fineous McBride

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" Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house."
Jean Kerr

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" Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best."
Woody Allen

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" Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes.
There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy."

Henry Kissinger

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" Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch."
Cathy Carlyle

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" If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?"
Bette Midler

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" Marriage is like jogging through a puddle of industrial strength rubber glue. You can work hard and make it through the struggles; however, you usually leave your bobby socks and sneakers behind along the way."
Anonymous

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" No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying."
Anonymous

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